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CDC Tracking "Nerd Flu" Outbreak
ATLANTA, Georgia - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention released a statement today on their progress in understanding what has been called "nerd flu". The illness strikes mostly young, pale, socially-backward men between eighteen and twenty-six years of age. The onset is marked by calling in sick, not answering the phone, and not answering the doorbell. After the first twenty-four to forty-eight hours, the subject will exhibit redness in the eyes and experience stiff and aching hands and fingers. "We got our break when the video game Mafia was released on the Playstation 2. It was only a hunch, but we started watching. Sure enough, the day after it was released, we started getting reports in," said Julie L. Gerberding, Director of the CDC.Maybe I'm getting too old. My definition of "nerds" isn't so much video game junkies, but people who would sit around and build their own video games from scratch.
"I knew something was wrong with these guys," said Martin Hatchwether, owner of PC ToGo. "You're never surprised when somebody calls in 'sick' on Monday, but I'd get five guys call in on the same Wednesday, then a month or two later, they'd be out on a Tuesday. Same guys, same day. Weird. But it makes sense now."
One gamer who only gave the name NightTredder admitted, "Sure, if I get a new game, you can pretty much count on me to hole up for a few days until I beat it. You lose too much of the immersive thing if you break your play up."
"We don't want to jump to conclusions," warned Gerberding, "but the data is pretty clear. We're waiting for the release of Bond 007: Everything or Nothing. If we get a slew of reports on or around the 18th, I think we can put this one to bed."